A ranty, funny, dead-serious intersectional feminist blog.

The United States of Misogyny

Designed by AzureGhost (click for more).

This will be a rant. You have been warned.

When I saw this flag, I had one of those YES moments. It sums up so much using so little real estate, and yet, it reminds us that it represents the tip of the iceberg because it stands for a nation that still accepts sexism as normal. That is not to say we like it, or that we support extremist efforts to roll back women’s rights. But in a society that treats women as less in so many subtle ways, it’s difficult to avoid becoming a participant in the abuse.

Some well-meaning folks who believe they are feminist allies unfortunately aren’t self-aware enough to learn from criticism that tells them their behavior is part of the problem, so they perpetuate that behavior amongst their well-meaning, feminist-ally circles and make things worse. (Poster-child for Progressive Sexism: Bill Maher.) And even the best of us (and I’m far from that) find–when we’re honest–that we contribute now and then. In a climate like that, how much easier must it be for the true misogynists, the powerful men who fear powerful women, to propagate their ideologies?

It’s just a few wingnuts, some people say. Well, I call bullshit. When you’ve got Pat Robertson on national tv telling husbands to move to Saudi Arabia so they can beat their wives, when judges set rapists free and blame victims or claim that silence=consent, when advertising LITERALLY reduces women to their parts, when women can’t walk the streets and feel safe, when girls and women experience multiple assaults throughout their lifetimes and it’s not even uncommon…well, I just don’t see how anyone can deny that there is a deeper problem than a few extreme right-wing politicians and religious fanatics (not to be redundant).

What are we going to do about it? Here’s one suggestion:

Teach Your Son to Respect Women

And as long as we’re solving the country’s (and the world’s!) problems using only viral Internet images, here’s another:

We need to teach our daughtersI’d love to hear yours.



13 responses

  1. Thank you for your rant. I’ve recently come to a conclusion within myself that my contribution to the misogyny I’ve seen and see, is to have been, from an early age, an enabler/co-dependent by adapting my behavior in order to survive, even if it meant lying about who I am and how I feel. My goal has been to maintain as much dignity and independence as I can muster — and a lot of inward seething. That being said, I’ve pushed my personal envelope and stood up to the bullying forces as much as possible, also. I think it’s an uphill battle for women in this world. I’m dismayed at how much ground women seem to be losing, or stand to lose in the coming election if it’s won by the forces of what I consider to be evil. I’m dismayed that the forces of the rape culture are growing rather than diminishing and will most likely be reinforced and strengthened should the GOP somehow win. I have very few women in my actual life who share my feelings or who voice them anywhere but in a safe setting. While Pat Robertson and Mitt Romney get lots of press and spew their message to women who appear to agree with them wholeheartedly, I think that it’s important for me/us to expand into a growing network of women such as we and keep speaking up, developing and maintaining the muscle of our heretofore somewhat silent voices as much as possible and more.

    October 22, 2012 at 4:57 pm

    • I agree. We already know that we’re greater in number and way smarter than these losers. Now we just have to be louder! :)

      October 23, 2012 at 10:25 pm

      • Noah

        How about you don’t turn misogyny into misandry? Women are equal to men, not better.

        May 2, 2017 at 2:43 pm

        • How about you fuck off?

          May 3, 2017 at 6:21 am

  2. Pingback: Teach Your Children Well « It Never Rains In Seattle

  3. Melanie Lee MD

    I want for all girls to feel beautiful from within and let that shine outward. There are definite gender differences, in fact when I was in medical school, one of my jokes I used to say, when in a room full of males, that there was just too much testosterone poisening going on. Only that’s really not such a joke, effects of testosterone causes males to be more aggressive in behavior then the effects of estrogens. Both genders have testosterone and estrogen, but the levels are different in females vs. males. All of the “sexualphillias” are commited by heterosexual males. So the drive to power makes men want to keep women “in their place”, even though, women make better grades then males and do that now in math and science. So I think a girl can be pretty and be smarter than boys. Sexualizing females at a young age is a horror and has nothing to do externals and is an act of power over females. During my Medical Training, I encountered sexism, but I refused to allow this to change me in any way, the only way to beat a bully is to advance forward on the bully, get in their ‘space’ and don’t back down. So girls must be taught and shown by women, that we can and are girls, but that pretty exterior just houses a strong interior.

    October 21, 2012 at 7:04 pm

    • Great points. Thank you.

      October 23, 2012 at 10:23 pm

  4. I’m doing my best to raise awareness and keep the conversation going on the video games front. (In fact, a recent post I made on the subject has gotten several thousand views so far.) There are so many men who receive misogynistic messages from games these days, whether they realize it or not. There are also a lot more men than I realized who are getting tired of it. I think we have a lot of real allies there, they just need to be recognized and feel like we care about their support. I’m also strongly committed to sending the message to video game companies to stop treating white, young, heterosexual males as their only client base.

    We will get there. It seems intimidating and overwhelming, but we will get there. More and more minds change every day. And–this sounds a bit morbid, but there you go–a lot of the “old guard” is going to die soon. A lot of their outdated ideals and gender role vehemence is going to go with them. That means more room for people who have grown up in a world where there’s more than just One Way to Be.

    We will get there.

    October 21, 2012 at 4:02 pm

    • You’re doing a great job. And we will. :)

      October 23, 2012 at 10:22 pm

  5. I would also like to see an end to women denigrating other women in their roles as mothers. We have enough trouble dealing with men cutting our rights. We don’t need to be fending off criticisms from our fellow women about the hardest job we do.

    October 21, 2012 at 12:52 am

    • This is a great comment, and I’m sorry I missed it until now. Thank you.

      March 14, 2013 at 10:28 am

  6. eteokretan

    We need to destroy the hegemony of the vapid princess culture in books/tv shows/movies/toys for little girls, which primarily teaches them to be obsessed with clothes, popularity, and prettiness, and that someday a prince will come who will complete their existence; etc. I doubt the princess thing can be gotten rid of entirely (though that would make me very happy), but there need to be more alternatives.

    October 20, 2012 at 9:51 pm

    • Yes. Having raised a little girl, I think some of them might be born princesses, but we don’t need to shove that crap down their throats. And it would also help if adults, when talking to little girls, didn’t go right to “You’re so pretty!” or “Look at your dress!” As tempting as it is to compliment a little girl when she’s dressed up, I’m challenging myself to fight that urge at least long enough to talk with them about something else. Thank you.

      October 20, 2012 at 10:09 pm

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