A ranty, funny, dead-serious intersectional feminist blog.

Learn This Word: Maybe

Guest post by Joseph Paul Haines

Joe posted this “rant” on Facebook yesterday and kindly gave me permission to share it here. Enjoy. ~Rosie

thinkAfter listening to a bunch of misogynistic bullshit lately I’d like to make a small suggestion. Learn this word: Maybe.

Hell, I’ll even show you how to use it with a series of statements and where it applies.

Statement: Women only pretend to be interested in cons.
WYST: (What you should think): Maybe. That could be true, depending on the woman. I’m sure that there are some women in the world who couldn’t give a flying fuck about geek culture but see it as a great place to meet fairly affluent single men. Then again, some of them could school your ass a hundred ways to Sunday on almost anything you think you know.

Statement: Women are physically weaker than men.
WYST: Maybe. Some women are, due to their physique, less able to perform certain feats of strength than a similarly built man. Then again, I’ve also had my ass handed to me in sparring matches with women of all shapes and sizes, depending upon their skill level and mine.

Statement: Women are more emotional.
WYST: Maybe. I’ve known women who on the surface seemed to react more strongly to certain external stimuli than other men I’ve known. Then again, it seems I keep running into men who I would classify more strongly as “little whiny bitches” than any woman I’d met in years.

Statement: Women need someone to take care of them.
WYST: Maybe. There have been people on this planet who have experienced situations and trauma that left them temporarily incapable of tending to their own needs in a proficient manner. Then again, maybe you can move out of your parent’s basement before you start whining about it.

Rodin_ThinkerStatement: So maybe? How am I supposed to operate off of maybe?
WYST: The same way you do with every other human being on the planet. Some people are better than others at certain things. It has absolutely nothing to do with their gender. As a matter of fact, the gender should be the last thing you consider when getting to understand another human being. Is it true that some women are hyper-emotional? Damn straight. Some men, too. You should deal with the state of being, not the gender. It’s not your job to somehow behave in a different manner with women than you do with men. You don’t have to behave like a “knight.” You don’t have to behave like a “perfect gentleman” although manners never hurt anyone. (Side note: If you think that your behavior has to change in so-called mixed company, you might take some time to think about your manners in a general, overall sort of way. Just a thought.)

Most of all, when you consider a person’s abilities or behavior, it should be based upon their actions and demonstrated talents. So in other words, all this clichéd nonsense about women? Yeah, it could possibly be true in specific instances when dealing with one particular human being.

images (5)Here’s one more example:

STATEMENT: Most men aren’t capable of getting past their own cocks and learning this lesson.

WYST: Maybe. But maybe not.


See now? That wasn’t so difficult, was it?

Note: Today Joe posted this PSA, which I know he won’t mind me adding here:

Gentlemen, I’m going to provide you with another safety tip here today. Never, and I mean EVER, start a sentence to a woman with the following phrase:

“Jeez, don’t get so hysterical,” or “Calm down, already,” or “Let’s not get all emotional now . . .”

If you don’t understand why not, well, just take my word for it. If she’s standing in front of you and waving a gun or a knife or hitting herself in the face with a sledgehammer, then and ONLY then would the use of any of these phrases be justified.

Just don’t do it. And you’re welcome.

600402_226783124129220_998911497_nJoseph Paul Haines is a fiction writer and feminist ally. His short story “Ten with a Flag” was recently made into a short film. You can find his books on Amazon.

Respectful discussion is welcome and encouraged. When in doubt, see the Comment Policy.

7 responses

  1. Ha! Love it. Although one would hope it was obvious enough that it didn’t need to be said. The only bit I take issue with is the very end. I am one of the calmer people you will meet, but probably the single quickest way to piss me off is to tell me to calm down. If someone is wielding a sledgehammer, this might not be the cleverest way to enter the conversation.

    May 18, 2013 at 2:35 pm

  2. seppppp

    That time of the month eh? Oh, looks like this was written by a “man”. OK, penis-owners really can be hysterical, illigical, hypersensitive over-emotional whiners sometimes. Elegant way of proving your point, I guess.

    May 18, 2013 at 11:07 am

    • Ha! There’s always a dude around when you need one to illustrate a point. Thanks, dude!

      May 18, 2013 at 11:12 am

  3. It’s actually proven in biology that men are more emotional than women. Women are emotionally the stronger ones, because they have a part in their brain that “cares” [for their children]. They are able to number themselves out and push on no matter what life throws at them, because their brain tells them: “you need to keep going, for yourself and for your children.”

    Men aren’t built in the same way, because they are, by nature, the “providers”. Men take everything personal. Because in nature, the only thing that a man can fail at is providing food, so when he fails at catching that deer or tiger, he needs to improve his hunting skills. Nowadays there’s so much more a man can fail at, but we’re still built the same way. That results in the whiny little bitches you mentioned.

    I’ve seen it in my life as well, women are usually the ones that keep pushing through to get where they want to be. Men usually give up and spend weeks bottling everything up, lashing out at others, and definitely not getting anywhere they want to be.

    Really enjoyed reading this post, food for thought.

    May 18, 2013 at 4:49 am

  4. Brett

    This is really great. Gender binaries are really ingrained in American culture. It’s crazy how many people buy into the idea that there are catch all rules for a gender and operate based on those rules.

    May 17, 2013 at 6:19 pm

    • Leah

      This is excellent. I can’t stand it when people say, “Well, I know one woman who pretends to be a geek because she wants men, so therefore ALL women are that way.” (For the record, the one person I know like that? Does that with all men she dates. Whatever they’re into, that’s her personality now. Does that mean all women do that? Hell no.)

      May 18, 2013 at 4:24 pm

  5. Reblogged this on Note To Self.

    May 17, 2013 at 11:03 am

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