A ranty, funny, dead-serious intersectional feminist blog.

How to Treat a Broken Heart

brokenheartSomeone I care about has been going through a rough time recently, and talking to her reminded me of a time not very long ago when I felt much as she has been feeling. It was one of the worst periods of my life and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy*, so seeing a friend going through it made me wish I had a magic wand to make the pain go away. But I don’t, and we have to live through these things in order to get to the other side of them, so…

I thought back to the things that helped me through the hardest weeks of that time for me, and this is what I came up with: Not a cure, but a reminder that when the world treats us cruelly, that is the time when it’s most important to treat ourselves gently.

To treat a broken heart:

  • 2 cups of water (taken often—to rehydrate your powdered soul)
  • 1 cup of warmth (applied constantly as long as required)
  • 1 cup of family and friends (as needed)
  • 6 heaping tablespoons of forgiveness (for yourself first and others second—keep the jar handy)
  • 1 truckload of sleep (and another truckload as soon as you need it—repeat as necessary)
  • Breathe. Even when it hurts.

Wishing you all love and joy and freedom from pain.



*Almost. I can almost say this honestly.

41 responses

  1. Max

    This has to be the best formula I had found, if I ever need one again.

    Rosie, what an admirable human being you are. I wish only the best for you and your close and loved ones, and hope everything gets better soon.

    November 12, 2013 at 7:07 am

    • Thank you very much, Max.

      November 12, 2013 at 11:44 am

  2. Amy Lynn Smith

    You are such a strong, remarkable woman (something you I’ve told you many times). I’m so proud of how you’re recovering from the body blows you suffered this year — even finding the power to reach out to help someone else. The measure of a truly great woman, person and friend. <3

    November 7, 2013 at 10:48 am

    • Thank you, Amy. Your support is so appreciated. As always. <3

      November 7, 2013 at 4:21 pm

  3. Tina Tocco

    May God bless you and your friend with the feeling of love. I hope she heals and feels better and better. Saying prayers for you both.

    November 5, 2013 at 8:31 pm

    • Thank you!

      November 6, 2013 at 8:34 am

  4. Jenn

    Sending warm hugs and good wishes to you and your friend.

    November 5, 2013 at 7:17 pm

    • Thank you!

      November 5, 2013 at 7:38 pm

  5. Terry in Arkansas

    You are an inspiration to others – thank you for sharing! We all have tough times in our lives – some have it so much worse than others do. Sending you a “love bomb” wishing you and your friends happier days ahead and more and more days of strength!

    November 5, 2013 at 2:25 pm

    • Thank you so much!

      November 5, 2013 at 6:27 pm

  6. Esther

    Thank you this is really beautiful :)

    November 5, 2013 at 10:33 am

    • Thank you! :)

      November 5, 2013 at 10:34 am

  7. Joan

    What a great recipe for all of us as we navigate this sometimes very cruel world. I wish you nothing but the best in all you do for yourself and for others.

    November 5, 2013 at 10:26 am

    • Thank you! :)

      November 5, 2013 at 10:27 am

  8. Julia

    I can really use that recipe right now. Thank you!

    November 5, 2013 at 9:53 am

    • Take care of yourself. And I meant the bit about warmth literally–I sat on a heating pad for weeks.

      November 5, 2013 at 10:15 am

  9. This is beautiful, and I’m sorry for the hard times you’ve had to go through to be able to know what one needs in that kind of situation. Sending warm hugs and good thoughts to you and your friend in this sucky time.

    November 5, 2013 at 9:45 am

    • Thank you. All warm hugs and good thoughts gratefully accepted. :)

      November 5, 2013 at 10:28 am

  10. Beautifully written… Exactly what I needed to hear today… love and light to you and yours

    November 5, 2013 at 8:39 am

  11. Hoping things will get better for you and your friend!

    November 5, 2013 at 7:29 am

    • Thank you. It’s been a rough year, but I’ve made progress. And I know my friend will be ok, too. It just takes time. :)

      November 5, 2013 at 9:47 am

  12. Alissa

    Rosie, you are an inspiration to so many others that have been through some tough times. Your positive advice in this post made me smile and I will definitely be sharing it with others!

    November 5, 2013 at 3:05 am

    • Thanks so much, Alissa!

      November 5, 2013 at 9:44 am

  13. I love this. Especially, “When the world treats us cruelly, that is the time when it’s most important to treat ourselves gently.” YES. Hope you are doing just that for yourself.

    November 4, 2013 at 9:27 pm

    • I’m trying! Thank you. :)

      November 5, 2013 at 9:44 am

  14. Amazing post!! I love when our pain can help someone else heal!! Sending you big love!

    November 4, 2013 at 8:30 pm

    • Thank you! <3

      November 5, 2013 at 9:44 am

  15. I generally prescribe kindness (to yourself), time (to allow yourself to grieve), the shoulders of non-judgmental friends and family (who will let you cry), wine and ice cream.

    After some signs of healing have happened, there is the optional “palate cleanser” of going out to a bar, dressed to the nines, and outrageously flirting with anyone who pays attention to you. It can really feel good to know that a stranger finds you attractive, and can help heal the rest of the emotional damage. This is only to be done whilst mostly sober, though, to prevent emotional breakdowns.

    October 30, 2013 at 11:54 am

    • I like it. :)

      October 30, 2013 at 2:16 pm

  16. lexikatscan

    Hugs beautiful~

    October 28, 2013 at 2:36 pm

    • Thanks. :)

      October 30, 2013 at 2:17 pm

  17. very kind and generous of you, spoken from someone who has been there before –

    October 26, 2013 at 3:24 am

    • Thank you. Too many of us have felt this pain. I guess it’s part of being human, but that doesn’t stop me wishing I *could* cure it.

      October 26, 2013 at 8:33 am

  18. Thank you for being a friend. You will help your friend’s broken heart to heal.

    October 26, 2013 at 12:08 am

    • Thank you. I hope it is of some small comfort to my friend and anyone who needs it.

      October 26, 2013 at 8:26 am

      • It is of great comfort–just being a friend who is present with love is enough.

        October 26, 2013 at 9:26 am

  19. Reblogged this on Note To Self and commented:
    I have some of the best friends in the world. <3

    October 25, 2013 at 12:48 pm

  20. Great advice, important stuff! Glad things are better with you and that you’re able to help make things better for someone else.

    October 25, 2013 at 11:46 am

    • Thanks, Gretchen! I have come a long way. And I hope this is helpful even if only in that it is heartfelt.

      October 25, 2013 at 12:00 pm

  21. thank you for this

    October 25, 2013 at 11:37 am

    • Thank you for reading. :)

      October 26, 2013 at 8:24 am

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